Because elevators are for sissies (unless you're going up) we opted to stu on down the stairs. These creepy, appromixately 333 steps that take a good ten minutes to go all the way down...

Who can argue with a dusty Engrish sign? Not I, sir. Not I.

Something that the brochures don't talk about but is head-slappingly obvious is that, even in a society that prides itself on it's restraint, social civility and squeaky-cleanliness, it's going to attract a bunch of teens who are gonna pull a sharpie on it. This is but a small sample. However, it's most just a bunch of in-jokes and names of people who I shall never meet. However, my favorite one I will save for a future Japan Jumble because it's time to justify the title of this Jumble.

Perhaps there's a reason that they don't advertise the amusement center so heavily in the promotional material. It's kind of charming though: a complete and functional Suzuka 8 Hours cabinet and delightfully retro 1980s UFO Catchers. The kicker? The Catchers played an awesome chiptune rendition of Sting's Every Breathe You Take.

Things like this make me wonder if Japan would've been even more awesome as a 5-year-old.

This like this confirm that it probably was.

4D here just means that you stick on 3D glasses while slammed up against a big-screen TV showing a PS2 cutscene. And the seat moves sometimes. Realllllll scary fellas. Keep it up Japan. Someday you will outdo your peak with Ringu.

There is also the Sega Consumer Museum, a small pocket of the inside of the Tower were they look back on their past glory. Back in the days when Nintendo and Sega were bitter enemies, blast processing raged against Mode 7, but Sega had frickin' CDS and LUNAR and that fat plumber could go take his mushrooms and.... Sorry guys, those were some bitter memories.

Sigh.....

But hey, there's monkey shows up here too. That's gotta count for something right?No. Because monkeys suck.